I’m exhausted. Yeah, I know, that statement isn’t exactly the grabber that I should be writing to pull you into this post. When I first began writing this blog, I promised myself that I would write about beautiful food, sharing food with friends and nourishing loved ones, about life in Seattle and how food has become a large part of how I experience the world. I promised myself I would inspire others to believe in food and life, never write anything that I wouldn’t enjoy reading myself, and last but not least, never misrepresent my world.
When you write for others, there is a strong pull to focus on the positive (who wants to read a downer?) and cherry-pick the details of your day. On the days I’m feeling down, sometimes writing a positive post pulls me right up into feeling full of smiles again. The words may act as inspiration, as salve, or as a way to make myself laugh when I don’t have my family around to nudge me into guffaws of outrageousness.
So in an effort at full disclosure – I’m tired. But hey, I’m still cookin’. Last night I made a killer spicy orange tofu dish that my faithful friend Orli and Mark just loved (I'll post it soon, promise.) Despite my fatigue, yesterday I read completely through my current issue of Vegetarian Times and earmarked more than a few recipes to try out (all adventurous, of course, as my resolution still stands.)
I may be a little down, but not out. This past week of clinicals pushed my mind and body to the limit. So now I find myself on a Sunday night with many things still left undone. Over a quick dinner of soba and noodles with peanut sauce (Mark’s favorite, as you know) I was lamenting my To Do List. “I still have to call my folks, and a few friends, make a lunch for tomorrow, and post a blog!” I whined. Mark looked at me with playfulness “Well, I’ll do it for you – I can write about Melba Toast”. Great, that will be just great.
My Mark. So helpful.
So to save you from profound musings on Melba Toast, I give you 25 things. I was tagged on Facebook this week to post 25 random things about myself. With a focus on food, and in an effort at full disclosure, here goes.
- I like whole wheat pita bread stuffed with ripe honeydew and crunchy salted peanut butter.
- My dream vacation is to spend a few months cycling across Europe. All day, on my road bike cycling for miles, stopping to camp some nights in small villages with good food and cheap wine.
- I spent almost a year as a flight attendant before starting grad school, just so I could travel. It didn’t really work. I spent most of my time ‘on call’ and grounded. I was the only flight attendant at the company who didn’t eat McDonald’s and smoke Marlboros for breakfast.
- I push myself too hard sometimes. I’m my worst critic and a perfectionist, but I’m learning to accept myself and my faults, and take comfort in them.
- I get frustrated about being 30 and not having a career yet. I get upset when my life doesn’t look exactly the way I want it to.
- I grew up Catholic, but I would now describe myself as more of a Buddhist.
- The two professions that I would be other than a clinical dietitian? A doctor or a chef. A clinical dietitian is a blend of the two, I think.
- Otherwise, I’d be a professional food writer.
- I miss my family like crazy every day, and wonder if I’ll ever stop missing them like I still do after 2 years of living in Seattle.
- I’m a terrible escapist. I’ll run off into adventure, hide in a book, or dream and dream about traveling. I’m a Pisces and I think we’re supposed to be good at that.
- I eat organic Lundberg rice cakes like they’re crack. I leave little rice cake crumbs all around the house.
- In a former life I was a Spanish Flamenco dancer. How else can I explain my penchant for Spanish, my ability to dance to anything latin, and my deep guttural voice (not to mention the part of me that is dark and stormy with a touch of melodrama?)
- I don’t like candy. But I do like dark chocolate and genuine licorice, made with molasses. Do those count?
- I get all choked up at the end of every episode of Grey’s Anatomy. It’s really just my outlet to cry. As if I should feel less embarrassed to cry at a TV show than about real life.
- I reminisce about living in Chicago way too much.
- Self-reinvention is only positive if your new outside still matches your inside. You can’t change who you are at the core.
- I don’t believe death to be a terrible thing. The way we view death is what is terrible.
- That said, I want to live a long life and drink many bottles of good wine with good friends before I kick it.
- Every day I remind myself how lucky I am to be living. My legs pedal the bicycle. My heart loves. My hands feel the cold air.
- I don’t dance enough. I feel best when I crank up U2 and twirl around.
- I love coffee with cream and sugar. I love espresso. Caffeine makes me crazy, so I have to be careful.
- Being light, feeling lighthearted has never come easily to me. I was a serious child, and spent most of my life feeling very heavy and serious and worried. It took a long time to unlearn that.
- This blog is the result of letting go, not being afraid to give everything I’ve got to the world.
- I am very thankful for Mark. He’s my sunshine.
- The reason I’m here, why I’ve gone through all I have in this life, is so that I may help others to heal.